Singleness. I wish we would stop talking about it as a season of self-discovery, to become the best version of yourself, to become ready for “the one”. I have an aversion to all of it.
I am 25. I have never been on a date. I have been asked out, but by guys who were desperate for any girl to say yes, a girl to sleep with, or a girl to give him faith. Never by a guy who wants to get to know me, because he is intrigued and interested. Never by a man who shares my faith.
Because of these facts I have been told a wide variety of things over the years. Maybe you have heard these gems on your journey, especially from the church.
- God, has someone for you.
- You just need to focus on becoming the best version of a godly woman you can be.
- Discover yourself, this is the best time to get to know yourself
- This is the last season of your life you will ever be free.
I have heard these and several more. But, there is a central theme. Apparently, I am “guaranteed” a life partner and if I get myself all figured out in the right ways “he” will be attracted to me and I will be automatically ready to do this thing.
It’s a lie. Friend, these are all lies. We are going to tackle them together this month, because you and I both need to stop looking at singleness and our relationship with God as an end to a means. And, believing that if we do this season in a certain way we will win the prize of love. Or, that the measure of our faith or how well we know ourselves is what makes us lovable to someone else.
Being single is not weird.
It is not bad or a mistake.
It is not a strength assessment of your faith.
It is not a reflection of your lovability or attractiveness.
Singleness is just a label, not who you are.
God does have a plan for your life, I can promise you that, more importantly God promises you that.
And you are loved and worth loving.