Day 21: A Gripping Invitation

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While some “nos” end up being really great moments of protection and a better path in hindsight, some “nos” glare at me. 

Maybe this is not my time. It stings. Maybe I am not ready and in a place where I can handle my dreams. I want today to be the day where I get to see my dreams come true. The “no” stings in all kinds of ways when I realize that what I want today is not what God has for me right now.

It is another shade of protection. Sometimes I want what I want without regard for if I can handle it right now or if it is a wise decision. Example, I saw an opportunity to write regularly for a magazine that I admire. They were accepting applications and I was tempted to apply. I am nearing graduation and want the work experience, but I am not graduated yet. My school takes up a lot of my time and I already have commitments. I went to God. I asked him and decided that this opportunity is not for right now. It stung, but I knew that right now is not the right time. I try to do my best to look at every article rejection through this lens. It is hard to take but it was not right this time. 

Another side of this has to do with my own spiritual maturity. I know I am not the healthiest Christian in the world. I don’t know if I ever will be according to church standards, but I do know that God is continuing to work on my heart. This is hard to explain, especially through the written word. But, spiritually I can be in a rough place. When I am there, I need to lean more into strengthening my relationship with him than pursuing my dreams. His “no” becomes a call to spend more time with him before entering into anything new or more than what I am already dealing with. 

“No” can mean not going to happen, but it can be an invitation to wait. It is not time yet, keep holding on. Hold on to God still. 

Hear me, I do not think God is saying “no” till we get all of our pegs in a row before he allows the “yes”. This isn’t prosperity gospel, where if you do all the things God will bless you. I do not think we are ever ready or altogether prepared for our dreams to unfold, no matter how much we want them. I believe God’s timing is divine and way beyond my comprehension, but not so much beyond me that I don’t know that it is good. Every time, it is good. Today I may question, based on the crazy, but looking back all I see is his goodness that eclipses my hot mess. 

Maybe your “no” is more of a not yet. Maybe your “no” is an invitation to grip him, instead of trying to grab hold of every desire, opportunity, and working hard to “make your dreams come true.” Pursuing your dreams will require some hard work, but you do not have to force your dreams to come true, you just need to hang onto him as you continue to dream and consider every opportunity in his light. 

- Hannah