Day 24: What Is Your Source?

Where do you remain/abide?
What is the source you plug into for life?

I wish I could say that I constantly plug into Jesus and his word for my source of life. That I am constantly communicating with him and living a life of worship and love. If I claimed that as fact, I would be a liar. 

I tend to plug into my education for my value and strength. I tend to look for validation and reassurance in grades and success more than in what God says. I am more likely to worship myself in a pity party and validate my feelings of victimization when things or relationships go sideways. I remain in myself and abide by what I perceive through my feelings and past circumstances. I’d rather trust myself than anyone else. 

Experience tells me to hide away from storm where I will be safe, and no one can hurt or disrespect me again. This tends to be the me, myself, and I show; along with my parents because at the end of my days they are the only ones that have ever stuck around. Through the good, bad, and ugly they have remained, they are my team. 

The thing is so is God. He is not just on my team, he is the leader over me and all of this crazy life. My dreams and disappointments. My pain and tears. My joy and laughter. Everything that makes up this life Jesus is over it and is the source for the life I desperately crave.   

I am learning that I can’t have my cake and eat it too. I can’t have this world and God. I can’t have one foot in my way and one is his. I need to plant myself in fruit giving soil. I do not know about you but my way has never been nor will it ever be fruitful. It brings forth shiny things, but they never last. That is this world. 

Our dreams are beautiful things. Even though we cannot have this world and all of its pleasures and God too; we are in this world. We live in it and God has made us to be apart of his grand story by sharing the best story with everyone. But, our lives can’t produce good fruit without the greatest source of all. Without Jesus they are worthless. Without a purpose beyond our own glorification and satisfaction, they are empty shiny things. 

Jesus is our source, not to making our dreams come true or living easy and flawless lives, but to a life of forgiveness, freedom, grace, and a divine promise to never be alone ever again from now and into eternity. 

We need him before anything else. We need him above all else.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser…Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” John 15: 1,4

Remaining Assignment #2: What is the first source you go to in life? What brings you life? Your phone. A friend. Significant Other/Spouse. Your job. Your successes. God.  What is that source for you? Journal it out and surrender your source to God and turn back to him and thank him for being the ultimate source of life. 

- Hannah