Day 3: What You Got Instead

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Dreams are like wishes without hope. Hope is what keeps dreams steady, unmovable by the wind. Dreams rooted in hope understand that God is who holds it all and makes all things true. Not like a genie in a bottle, but a Father who gives good gifts to His children, even when they don’t deserve it.

It was written on almost every card and trinket gift I received when I graduated high school.

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

God does have plans for us. In Him we do have hope and will most definitely have a future, but that does not mean all of our dreams will come true. That is the hard part. All my dreams have not come true and they definitely did not come true by 20. 

What I did receive I was not happy with, because it was not the whole pretty picture I had created in my mind and it hurt. Over a year after my Nana died I was diagnosed with a birth defect that was going to require major surgery. I found myself moving out of the dorms again and back home I went. Summer of my 20th year I experienced the pain of the second most painful surgery in the world. By the age of twenty I lost both my dad’s parents, moved in and out of two colleges, lost friends, was rejected by the church, and had life changing surgery. 

I was emotionally, spiritually, and physically spent. 

I made up my mind that dreams are not worth pursuing. Hope deferred makes the heart sick and I was content with the idea of staying sick, because if I could not have it all I did not want to root my dreams in hope. I could not go through this kind of emotional pain again. I did not want to feel letdown by God, because I knew He hadn’t let me down, but the sting lingered in my heart. 

If God was a giver of good gifts, then why did He allow my Nana to die? 

How is experiencing pain good? 

If dreams lead to heartbreak, why do I need/ should I dream?

Question: What dream did you not get, and what did you receive instead? 

- Hannah